December 2010
24 posts
“I don’t recognize my face. I don’t know my name. If I could do it...”
I am who we've all been waiting for
I’m not really sure what this means, or how anything else written that message made any sense, but it’s funniest most strangely heartwarming thing anyone has ever said to me. Thanks.
I used to really like Christmas.
I would count down, get excited. There was something about it. How it seemed everyone was just as excited as I was, there were more cookies, people would give me shit I probably didn’t need or ask for (or deserve for that matter). They played the same 12 songs on the radio, and everyone knew all the words. There were so many lights, and I used to think less of the houses that just put...
It might have been stupid, but I’m glad I said it. Because as stupid as it is and as rude as you are, I think I love you. So, I’m glad it was said.
It's about to get personal
Only because I do not want pack, refuse to study, and am on my second glass of wine. Me in bulleted form.
- My dad chose my middle name. He tells everyone that he picked Alexa because he really liked the BIlly Joel song. I know its because he wanted to be funny. My initials are BAM.
- It doesn’t matter how many times I watch it, the Wizard of Oz never gets old.
-When I was in preschool I...
I know its right and for the best…. but it still sucks
I'm packing.
My room is bare. And its empty and mental institution-like. I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t scared. This is probably the stupidest thing I’ve ever done. For a girl who’s always made lists and time lines, going out on whim and just hoping something works out is frightening. But it needed to be done. So here we are. In my naked, white, empty room just praying something works...
“I get lost on the boulevard at night without your voice to tell me ‘I love...”
Everything I write is about you... but its okay
I’ve felt stuck for a long time. I’ve always felt that maybe some day I’d realize my “higher purpose” and things would work out and fall into place. Well that’s really hard to do, and a lot of pressure to put on yourself. And sometimes its so much pressure, so much that you question every move you’ve ever made and wonder if you have really ever stepped in...
Its Saturday. And typically I would go out and look for ways to get myself in trouble. And I don’t know if I’m tired of trouble, tired of everything, or just feeling sentimental, but I’m taking the night off. I’m in bed, sipping the last bits of wine, and the only guy providing comfort is through my speakers, screaming things I will never have the courage to say. For once...
there are things we always talk about doing. that we wish we did. i think this is one i can cross off my list.
maybe that sigh of relief is only hours away. and that is the scariest thought in the world.
unpredictability.
because you really don’t know. for all those lists i’ve made. for all those time lines i carefully planned out. for all the energy i spent trying to direct myself down a certain path. its not that its all for nothing, but its nothing to rely on. because it always changes right when everything is going just how you want it. and i guess, maybe that’s how its supposed to go.
I may not be a pregnant cocaine snorting kind of fuck up, but I’m not sure what else you call a $100,000 mistake.
this is where you would have been helpful
drink. dance. repeat. happy madrigal. here’s to many more.
It’s the little things.
God’s laughing at me. Really man, it’s not that funny
fight on or good love.
There are no words to describe how checked out I really am.